绘画

SHANGHAI EXPRESSIONISM: THE ARTIST'S VIEW
From the time when I was a young child in Shanghai, I have always had a lot of contact with art. Most people who visited our home were artists, At home I also had a lot of art materials and art books. At that time, only the papers I was using for my sketches were my real friends. I poured all my feelings onto the paper, rather than having contact with other children of my age. At the age of ten, my art proficiency got me selected from numerous candidates for the fine art section of the renowned Shanghai City Youth Palace. The time I spent there was the happiest time of my childhood. My class mates and fellow art students treated me with respect, unlike my time at primary school. I started wondering why there could be such a different world in the same city. My teacher continuously encouraged me, both for my art and for my personality, and may never have realised how important that was for me.
A few years later, I met the famous Chinese artist Professor Chen, He told me that if I would choose art for a career, I should be prepared to endure suffering the rest of my life. His own appearance, thin and short sighted, clearly supported his words. Then he asked me whether I was still planning to take that road. I thought about it, considering how bad my mathematics was - what choice did I have? I could not answer him at that moment, but in my heart I knew I would take the art path. Later, after I had already entered the Art University of Shanghai, Professor Chen looked once more at my work, and proposed that nature would be my best art teacher. Unfortunately, living in a 15 million people city without any nature made that somewhat difficult. So he gave me a list of masters to study, including Matisse, Cezanne, van Gogh, Monet, but also Chinese masters. I selected Lin Fong Mian, the teacher of grandmaster Zao Wou-Ki, as my main source of inspiration. His style and personality had a big impact on me, and it was a major contributor to me learning the art of coloured Chinese ink, which was not taught at the Shanghai University. At University, I spent all my time outside art classes in the library, still finding it difficult to make friends with people of my own age. My teacher Zhao took an interest in my paintings, but told me that Lin was a different generation, with different background and different problems - as a young student, I should try to find my own way and express my own feelings. I was happy that finally someone suggested that I should take my own path, and appreciate myself rather than following masters. Unfortunately, at that age I was not in control of my life and still had to listen to other people about what I was allowed to paint.
I decided to explore options outside China, and went first to Malaysia, then to Singapore. The merciless tropical sunshine in those countries made me paint indoors, with curtains closed, listening to jazz music. Often the subject of my paintings was based on Shanghai, which was still very much on my mind and in my heart. Whenever I used warm colours, I found that this was not really me, so I started to use more and more cold colours, undoubtedly also as a reaction to the hot climate.I was glad to have the opportunity to leave Singapore and move to Rouen (France), the cradle of impressionism. I finally started to explore nature in my art, in an impressionist fashion, capturing the Normandy skies on canvas. A holiday in the Provence and Tuscany proved a major turning point for me. The sunshine, strong blue skies and bright colours made me question whether impressionism, with its subtle light changes, was the way to go. It opened my eyes and my heart, and I understood the change that came over Vincent van Gogh when he settled there from the cold and grey North, and why this region had so much inspired other artists like Cezanne, Picasso and Matisse. One single experience in particular made a strong impression on me: in a small Provence town, I saw the mistral turn the poppy fields into waves of colour, and I decided that I wanted to capture effects like this in my art. My fascination with cold colours was finally gone that moment. Strong warm and bright colours would be my future, and I was very excited about it. When I returned home, I immediately started to turn these new feelings into a new series of paintings.Half a year later, another holiday brought all the pieces together. I had always admired the German expressionist masters that I knew from books, like Kandisnky, Macke and Marc, but seeing so many of the original masterpieces collected in the Munich musea had an immense effect on me. I had the feeling like a hunter must have when he finally catches the deer he has been chasing so long. This was it. This was the art style I had been looking for, this tought me so much about my own feelings. Only this style would allow me to fully express all my emotions. I had finally come to the point where I decided that it was not important what someone else thought about my art, only my own opinion counted. Not only in art, but in life as well. A clear break from the traditional Chinese way of thinking, where other people's opinions of you are paramount.As a Shanghainese in Europe, it was natural and part of myself, that my art would continue to have Shanghainese themes in it. Especially as the increased distance in time and space from the town where I grew up made me reappreciate the beauty of Shanghai. When I lived there as a child, one of my strongest impressions was walking through the elegant French area, looking at the European style buildings from the thirties, and wondering about the stories behind them. When I left Shanghai, the city was rapidly changing into just another modern metropole, and I thought my feelings for this city would diminish quickly. However, from the distance of Europe I found out that you can never forget the feelings for your home town, be they good or bad. I have the feeling I only now fully understand Shanghai, and that it will always be alive in me. In France, I am finally able to turn these strong inner feelings about Shanghai into my art. In the past, Shanghai was called the Paris of the Orient. For Paris, the important word here is Orient, for Shanghai the important word here is Paris. Both elegant cities, fashion capitals, with high lifestyle, always like being on a stage. Both cities in which the people have to face the real life problems, still have their dreams, but have the typical large-city mentality of keeping a distance. Both cities in which people grow up in a city culture. They see pictures of the sea long before they actually see the sea, they read about love before experiencing love. The real experience always follows the imagined one. In this sense, there is very little difference between East and West. have had the chance to contact people from different countries, different races and different backgrounds. This has considerably broadened my mind. I no longer assume that everybody would have to be the same as me, do the same things the same way. I can now focus on anything that interests me, I can finally choose for myself what I like and what I don't like, I love this freedom. This also makes me understand myself more. Every new travel destination is like a new chapter in the book of my life, I want to see everything with my Asian eyes and answer the questions they pose.

我画的上海是我心中的上海，所有的画面中都是上海女子，有些来自我的记忆，大家从我回忆上海生活里面的文字里面也许可以找到一些痕迹，那是来自一种熟悉情境的再现，有些是我个人情感的寄托，她们面目模糊，却都着东方旗袍，每个人因为不同的经历和个性，会对画面有着各自的理解和反映，我不会限制观众的思维，多时候，画面就像一匹野马，我要做的就是如何掌握缰绳，有时候，可以走彼岸，有时候却被马掀翻在地上，满身泥浆，伤痕累累。

绘画是自己从小就学的，说是选择也好，三岁的小孩也没啥选择， 幸好这是我爱的，符合了我的天性，后天由于时代的惠顾，也学到了很多，那时候不象现在的人们有着这么多自由选择和纷杂的讯息，所以很专心，小时候我每天把心中的疑问记录在本子上，见到了画家们就当面请教，无论对方是哪一路高手，我问的都是素描基本功的问题，画家们对我这个小学生的耐心与教导都令我难忘，很和蔼，回答也很细致， 因为整天埋头画画，所以也就没有同龄的朋友，连小孩子之间最简单的游戏也不会做，围绕在身边的都是大人，在时代洪流中无奈的的大人，过早地品尝着离别的苦楚， 那时候纯艺术的地位还是很高的，人海绵般吸取养料的大好时段也就在那些年，然后，会巩固，发展，变化，甚至抛弃，剩下的还在画画的，那就真的是喜欢画画的，现在从表面上看绘画的天地已经大大缩小，数码影像的出现，使得传统绘画的意义进一步削弱，不过也因为摄影的广泛运用，使得绘画的语言更为纯正和突显个人的情趣，我画的上海是我心中的上海，所有的画面中都是上海女子，有些来自我的记忆，有些来自一种熟悉情境的再现，有些是我个人情感的寄托，她们面目模糊，却都着东方旗袍，每个人因为不同的经历和个性，会对画面有着各自的理解和反映，我不会限制观众的思维。

上海，Shanghai 这个词在西方是一种亚洲的象征，因此很多与亚洲物品有关的商号，也取名Shanghai ，无论主人是否与上海有关，是否会中文，乃至上海话。说起来令人意外，实际上我十多年前在上海的时候，在很长的一段时间内，我非常抗拒讲上海话，当时觉得很多细腻优雅的感觉无法用上海话来表达，认为中文里面最美的就是以北京话为基础的华语，后来我从上海到南洋，在一些偶然的机会里，才发现以前的上海人和上海话完全不是我长大后接触的那个样子，那些保留下来的老上海人的生活方式是如此从容，得体，温润，又有品格，想起来这些疑问实际上是我很小的时候就埋下的种子，却一直没有机会发芽，不喜欢为了市场和别人的喜好而做画，虽然那使我很容易被周围的人理解和获得赞扬，但我始终不能表达自己的内心， 从2002年抵达法国开始，我开始了艰苦又其乐无穷的探索，我不断尝试更靠近和适合自己的表现方式，发展自己最钟爱与顺畅的创作方法，能够专注在自己适合和喜欢的题材与风格上创作，是我喜欢的绘画生活，每个人因为不同的经历而造就性格，也造成生活方式的不同，在不断反省和充实自己的过程中开垦一条自己的路，艺术没有标准，我的要求就是能过自己这一关。离开故乡上海已经20年了，时空和距离让我在回想她的时候衍生出了自己画面中的人物的色彩，时光与画面一起构成的雕筑形成了上海独特的气韵与面貌，这些都让我投入与沉醉，

命运好像国画立轴，它慢慢展开，时间让每个人都以同样的速度展开自己的画卷，而我们只能回望已经盛开的图画，小心掌握用水的份量，有前面的基调，还要考虑未来的衔接，而我们也无法阻挡画面的推进，每每我们不乐之时，就多想想以往的难，这样也就平添出些许快乐，若的确是一件也想不出来，那就与我那样，躲入图书馆，别小看可精神力量，它既伟大，又无能，这就是艺术，我把艺术视为宗教，童年的暑假自己被锁在出版社的书库里，那是一把快乐的小锁，还能看到外面的光，我宁愿呆在一个小小的安全空间里，哪怕书里的妖怪会飞出来，他们最终还是要回到瓶子里去，因为书里有正义的宝剑，很多时候，画面就像一匹野马，我要做的就是如何掌握缰绳，有时候，可以走彼岸，有时候却被马掀翻在地上，满身泥浆。
希望通过每一次的失败，学到更多的经验，更多时候，还是冥冥之中的安排。

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希望通过每一次的失败，学到更都多的经验，更多的时候，还是冥冥之中的安排，这种感觉就好像爱玲所说的"令人心酸眼明"
上海，Shanghai 这个词在西方是一种亚洲的象征，因为发音也很动听，因此，很多与亚洲物品有关的商号，也取名Shanghai 无论主人是否与上海有关，是否会中文，乃至上海话。
说起来大家也许会很意外，实际上我十多年前在上海的时候，很长的一段时间内，我非常抗拒讲上海话，因为很多细腻优雅的感觉无法用上海话来表达，感觉中文里面最美的就是以北京话为基础的华语，后来我从上海流落到南洋，很多年以后，从一些偶然的机会里，才发现以前的上海人和上海话完全不是我长大后接触的那个样子，那些保留下来的老上海人的生活方式是如此从容，得体，温润，又有品格，想起来这些疑问实际上是我很小的时候就埋下的种子，却一直没有机会发芽，但是海上的风物却是鞭鞭入骨，要忘记上海和上海话对我来说就像一个人学会了看书写字后要他重新变成文盲一样难，

记得当时我在法国的时候，为了探索自己绘画的方向而苦苦思索，那时候，从网上买了一套电视连续剧《画魂》打开了就有满屋子的中文背景和画面陪伴我，我就反反复复播放着，因为这是当时我唯一拥有的一套连续剧，里面，潘玉良到了法国，面对着湖光山色，却不能作画，那时候，玉良的老师告诉她："如果，回忆是你的全部，那就画你的回忆"
这句话给我的感受一直到现在还没有忘却。

在离开上海的10多年里面，我在独特的文化背景和艺术生涯下创作了一系列的上海表现主义绘画作品，它们能够在西方被人们接受和欣赏，我欣慰，

寻找这条和自己心灵沟通的渠道，我探索和寻找了很多年，在回到心灵原点的时候，我发现了这种可能，并且，生活给了我无限的空间继续发现，表现这种情愫，无论是用画布，还是水墨，或者是这段时间所迷恋的摄影，对我来说，都充满着探索的乐趣。每次展览，对我来说都是经验的积累，我的第一次个展还是在十多年前，那时候，自己比较紧张，也没有留意身边的景色，很高兴这次画廊完善的准备和安排，希望以后自己可以更加专心创作，以写我心，艺术使我们拉近了彼此，在孤独的人群中寻找自己的风景，原来，它们就藏在我们心中最柔软的地方。